Please Don't Leave Me
by elsiecarson
Summary: What if Ruth didn't die in the last episode? Harry's experience at the hospital with her
1. Please Don't Take Her From Me

Harry isn't a religious man, but as he sits at Ruth's bedside waiting for her to wake, he prays. He thanks God for saving her life. He promises that he will leave the Service like he promised Ruth. He's not prayed since he was a child, but now he feels like is the time he needs to pray most of all. He loves Ruth dearly and he just wants her to be okay.

"Dad, are you alright?" Catherine's soft voice floats into the room as she walks over to her dad and puts her hand on his shoulder.

"Catherine, thank you for being here." Harry stands up and hugs his daughter tightly.

"Oh dad, I couldn't be anywhere else. Have you gotten yourself checked out? My God, you're covered in blood!" Catherine is concerned about her father.

"Yeah, for once it's not my blood. Malcolm is supposed to be bringing me a fresh shirt. Don't worry I got checked out when Ruth was in surgery." Harry sighs heavily.

"How is she? She looks so pale and you look exhausted. I'm worried about you. When was the last time you ate?" Catherine asks as she watches her dad pace the room.

Harry runs his hands over his face as he tries to remember his day before Ruth was injured. "I ate at breakfast, but not since. I haven't had time."

"Alright, I'm going to go get you something to eat and a strong cup of coffee. I'll be right back. I'll see if I can find Malcolm on my travels." Catherine kisses her dad's cheek.


	2. Reassuring Daddy

Harry sits back at Ruth's bedside. "Come back to me, Ruth. I can't live without you." For the first time in many years Harry breaks down in sobbing tears. He hasn't been able to genuinely cry in a long time.

When Catherine comes back into the room her dad is still crying. She walks quietly over to her dad. "Here, Daddy. It's not much, but it's at least something."

"Thank you, sweetheart. It's better than nothing." Harry takes the coffee from Catherine first.

Catherine sets the soup and sandwich down in front of her dad. "I don't think I've ever seen you so scared, Dad. You do need to ear though." Catherine runs her hand over her dad's back.

Harry sighs heavily. "I don't think I ever have been so scared. My own safety never seemed all that important, but Ruth's is so much more important. I'm so worried about her. She's never been this injured on my watch and certainly not when I've been with her. It did scare me, more than I ever thought possible."

"You love her, don't you, Dad? I can tell by the way you talk about her. You don't talk about anyone the way you talk about her. Even mum wouldn't believe what is coming out of your mouth." Catherine talks openly with her dad more than ever.

"I do love her. I adore her. I just want her to get better. I'm resigning from the Service as soon as I know that Ruth is okay." Harry turns towards Catherine as he picks up his sandwich. "What is this?"

"I got you a chicken salad sandwich and the soup is seafood chowder. Don't let the soup get cold." Catherine knows she's babying her dad, but she also knows if she doesn't he won't take care of himself.

Harry opens the lid on the soup and stirs it with his plastic spoon. "Catherine, why don't you go home? You can't do anything to help here."

"I'm not here for me. I'm here for you. I know if I don't look after you, you certainly won't look after yourself. You don't look after yourself at the best of times." Catherine teases her dad.

Harry pulls his daughter down to sit on his lap and he wraps his arms around her waist. "Alright, stay with me, but don't nag me."

"Okay dad." Catherine leans her head on her dad's shoulder. "No offense, dad, but you smell a bit rank."

Harry chuckles deep in his chest. "That doesn't surprise me. If Malcolm ever shows up with a clean shirt I'll smell less grotty."

"I used to love sitting like this with you when I was little. You were always so warm and I felt so comfortable and so safe." Catherine sighs happily.

"I remember that. I would come home and while your mum finished making dinner I'd read to you. I loved it. I love that we're getting this chance, although you're a bit heavier than when you were little." Harry smiles at his daughter.

"Sorry dad, do you want me to move?" Catherine asks considerately.

"No, I like you just where you are. You make me less worried." Harry kisses Catherine's cheek.

"I'm going to try to get some sleep, dad." Catherine says tiredly.

"Okay sweetheart. You cuddle against me like when you were little and try and get some sleep." Harry says gently.

"What about you, dad?" Catherine asks, the concern evident in her voice.

"If I calm down enough to sleep I can sleep sitting up. I've done it before and it probably won't be the last time either." Harry tells Catherine.


	3. Fresh Shirt

Suddenly Malcolm comes into the room carrying a bag with a fresh set of clothes for Harry. "Thanks Malcolm. I've been waiting for this." Harry takes the bag from Malcolm and pulls out the fresh shirt and vest.

"My God, Harry! You're covered in blood!" Malcolm is shocked when Harry stands up.

"Don't worry, I'm alright. It's not my blood. I wasn't injured today." Harry tries to sound happy about that fact.

"Ruth will be alright, won't she?" Malcolm asks sadly as he watches Harry change his shirt.

"We won't know until anaesthetic wears off. I hope she is. She put herself between Sasha Gavrik and myself to protect me. If she dies I'll never forgive myself." Harry says heavily.

"Oh Harry, I'm sorry." Malcolm says heavily.

"Dad, why didn't you tell me?" Catherine asks getting up from the chair. She walks over to her dad and hugs him tightly.

"It's not your burden to bear, sweetheart. It's my fault Ruth's here. I have to cope with the consequences of my job." Harry says firmly. He holds his daughter closely.

"Let me help you bear that burden, dad. You can't be the hero all the time." Catherine looks up at her dad. He's always been her hero.

"You should listen to her, Harry." Ruth's whispery voice comes from the hospital bed.

"Ruth! You're awake! Thank God for that!" Harry rushes to Ruth's bedside.

"I'll go get the doctor." Malcolm says leaving the room.


	4. I Wanted to Protect You

Harry holds Ruth's hand as he sits on the side of her bed. "I'm so glad you're okay. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking about protecting you. I only wanted you to be safe." Ruth says hoarsely.

Harry moves closer to Ruth and kisses her forehead. "We've been so silly. I only want you to be safe." He moves away from Ruth when the doctor enters the room. He can only hope that she'll be okay. Catherine and Malcolm watch him as he paces the room while the doctor examines Ruth.

"She's in better shape than I expected at this point with the injury she sustained. She should be in hospital for another few days and we'll continue to monitor her. She will not be allowed to be home on her own when she goes home." Dr. Murdoch says.

"That's for absolutely certain." Harry mumbles under his breath. If he has his way he'll never let her go again.


	5. Subtle Hint

"Harry, come here." Ruth whispers.

Harry again sits on Ruth's bed. He runs his fingers over her face. "You came back to me."

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be. That's not the shirt you were wearing earlier." Ruth says holding Harry's hand.

"No, Malcolm brought me a fresh one. My other one was covered in blood." Harry says gently.

"Come on Catherine. Why don't you and I go get a coffee or something?" Malcolm suggests.

Harry smiles at Malcolm. He always knows how to read a situation. "I think that was a slightly less than subtle hint." Harry chuckles.

"I think it was too. Kiss me Harry." Ruth says happily.

Harry leans forward and presses his lips softly against Ruth's. He knows he can't kiss her for long with her lung the way it is. He slowly pulls away from the kiss. Ruth's eyes are sparkling blue.

"That wasn't long enough." Ruth pouts demurely.

"I know it wasn't. I didn't want to hurt you. We'll have lots more opportunities to do this when you get out of here. I'm resigning from the Service and moving with you to Suffolk." Harry tells Ruth. It's about time I lived for myself and I want you to be a part of that."


	6. A Surprise Visit

A sudden knock on the door interrupts the moment. "I just might shoot whoever that is." Harry walks over and opens the door. "Home Secretary, this is an unexpected surprise."

"Harry, how is she? Is she alright?" William Towers asks seriously.

"Why don't you come in and see for yourself, sir?" Harry challenges the Home Secretary.

Towers hesitantly walks into the room, worried about what he might see. He's surprised to see Ruth sitting up in bed with her eyes open. "Ruth, you're alright!"

"Yes, sir, I am." Ruth's voice sounds dry. Harry pours Ruth a glass of water, pops a straw in it, and holds it so Ruth can drink. "Actually, sir, I'm quite glad you're here. I would like to tender my resignation. I can't be part of this world anymore."

"I can't say I'm surprised. And you, Harry, will you go with her?" Towers asks seriously.

Harry pulls and envelope out of his inside pocket. "This is my resignation letter. I am signing it and dating it right now. It's effective as of right now." Harry quickly signs the letter with a flourish.

"I wish you weren't so hasty." Towers says honestly.

"This isn't hasty. It's been a long time coming. I've been thinking about this since Ruth came back from Cyprus. It's long overdue. I need to learn to live my life. I haven't had my life to myself in 30 odd years." Harry is very honest with Towers.

"Well, I hate to lose you, Harry. You're a good officer. I wish there were more men like you in the Service. You have been very loyal." Towers says sadly.

"Well sir, no offence, but this job has cost me too much. I've given up too much for my country. I want time to repair my relationship with my children. They deserve at least that from me." Harry says firmly.

"I can wish you nothing but good luck, Harry. You deserve to be happy. Get well soon Ruth." Towers says genuinely.

"It was nice of him to come. I can believe you really resigned. He'll be hard pressed to find someone to replace you." Ruth whispers sleepily.

"Don't worry about the Home Secretary. You get some sleep and I'll be right here when you wake up." Harry tucks Ruth in and kisses her cheek.


	7. I'll Watch Over Them

"Dad?" Catherine whispers as she enters the room when she and Malcolm come back. Harry is asleep on the couch in the room. She smiles and puts a blanket over her dad.

"Catherine, why don't you go home and get some sleep? These two will be dead to the world until the morning. I'll stay and I'll call if you're needed before you come in." Malcolm tells Catherine.

"Alright Malcolm, I'll see you tomorrow morning." Catherine kisses her dad's forehead and picks up her purse. "Look after them for me?"

"Of course I will. They're in good hands, I promise." Malcolm hugs Catherine. After she leaves, Malcolm settles into the padded chair next to Ruth's bed and prepares for a long night. He wants to make sure nothing happens to her overnight. Ruth looks so angelic when she's asleep. Malcolm can see why and how Harry fell in love with her. Malcolm isn't comfortable in the chair, but he doesn't want to leave Harry and Ruth alone. Harry doesn't normally let his guard down, but Malcolm can tell he's dead to the world right now. Malcolm slowly falls asleep and thanks whatever higher power exists that Ruth and Harry are still safe. He wakes up early since out of the three of them he's the most rested.


	8. Early Morning Moment

Ruth slowly wakes up and is amazed and thrilled that she isn't waking up to an alarm clock. Malcolm is sitting next to her bed and she immediately remembers the events of yesterday. "Malcolm, where's Harry?" Ruth asks hoarsely.

"He's over asleep on the couch. His daughter went home, but she said she'd be back this morning." Malcolm sits on the side of Ruth's bed and lets her sip some juice.

"I'm glad Catherine and you were here for Harry. I didn't want his to be alone." Ruth holds her juice cup and continues to drink.

"How do you feel about food? I can ask the nurse for something soft if you want." Malcolm asks Ruth gently.

"Something soft would be lovely. Thank you, Malcolm. Could you see if I can have some tea? I need something normal." Ruth smiles at Malcolm. He's such a sweet person.

"I'll see what I can do." Malcolm kisses Ruth's forehead. He thinks of Ruth as a sister.


	9. How are You Feeling?

Harry groans as he wakes up. Sleeping on a couch always makes his back ache. He slowly sits up and rubs his lower back.

"Morning sleepyhead." Ruth says cheekily. She's been watching him since he groaned.

"Ruth, you're awake! How are you feeling this morning?" Harry slowly stands up and walks over to Ruth.

"I feel like I've been stabbed. I'm sore, but I'm hungry, so I suppose that's a good sign. How are you? Your back looks sore." Ruth asks sweetly.

"Well, that couch isn't the comfiest thing I've ever slept on. I'll be okay. Have you eaten yet?" Harry asks brushing the hair off her face.

"Malcolm is going to talk to my nurse to see what I can have. I asked if he could see about a cup of tea. I just want some sense of normalcy." Ruth says to Harry.

"I know sweetheart. It'll be alright." Harry holds Ruth's hand.


	10. Breakfast Grumbling

Malcolm comes in with a tray. "Here, Ruth. I managed to get you a couple of poached eggs, some tea, and some vanilla pudding."

Ruth smiles at Malcolm. "You are a saint, Malcolm. Thank you so much for doing this. It smells so good."

"The nurse said to eat slowly and to have lots of juice. We want you to be healthy." Malcolm says pouring Ruth a cup of tea.

"Where's Catherine?" Harry asks as he adds some milk to Ruth's tea.

"She went home to get some sleep, but she said she would be back this morning. She was quite concerned about you last night." Malcolm tells Harry.

Harry watches Ruth as she winces when she tries to move both arms to cut her eggs. "Here, let me. Don't overexert yourself."

Ruth grumbles under her breath. She hates not being able to be independent. When Harry is finished she takes the fork from him and angrily stabs a piece of her egg. She holds her tea cup and breathes in the soft scent wafting up from the tea.

"Hey, it's okay to let someone look after you every once in a while." Harry says setting knife down on the rim of Ruth's plate.

"This coming from the man who is so independent he won't let anyone look after him." Ruth grumbles at Harry.

"You're right. Point taken, but let Malcolm and I take care of you. You deserve it." Harry holds Ruth's hand gently.


	11. Breakfast, a Surprise Visitor, Retiring

"Hi dad." Catherine says as she walks into the room carrying two cups of coffee and a bag of food. "I brought you and Malcolm some breakfast."

"Thanks, Cath." Harry takes a coffee from his daughter and a bacon sandwich.

"There's someone else here who wants to see you. I called Graham last night. He'd like to see you. Is that alright?" Catherine asks gently.

"It's alright with me if it's alright with Ruth. It's her hospital room, not mine." Harry says nonchalantly. Inside, his heart is racing. He and Graham have always had a fractious relationship.

"It's alright with me." Ruth says gently. She runs her thumb across the back of Harry's hand reassuringly. She knows how nervous he must be.

"Hey Graham, you can come in now. Dad would like to see you." Catherine pokes her head out the hospital room door to talk to her brother.

"Hi dad." Graham says quietly as he enters the room. He's nervous about seeing his dad.

Harry sips his coffee and takes a deep breath before he stands up and walks over to his son. "Hi Graham. It's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too, dad. Are you going to introduce me?" Graham asks teasingly.

"Oh, well, this is Malcolm. He met you when you were a kid and this is Ruth." Harry says after he shakes his son's hand.

"Wait, the Ruth! As in the love of your life, the woman you can't stop talking about? This is that woman? Before you ask, Catherine told me about her. It's a pleasure to meet you, Ruth." Graham says cordially.

"Excuse me while I go bash my head against a wall." Harry has the good sense to blush at his son's words. He didn't know he'd been that obvious.

"Oh Harry, come here." Ruth grabs Harry's hand and pulls him back to her. "Don't worry about it. I think it's sweet that you said those things. Kiss me."

Harry, mindful of the fact that Malcolm and his two children are in the room, softly kisses Ruth, not wanting to take her breath away, at least not yet. "I'm just glad I didn't lose you yesterday."

"Dad, that's really sweet. I'm so proud of you. You would never have been this open before." Catherine hugs her dad. "You should eat your breakfast while it's still hot."

"Dad, I'm glad you're happy. I haven't seen you this way since I was young." Graham says honestly.

Harry sits down on the side of the bed facing the room and the other three sit around it facing him and Ruth. "I'll be honest and say I don't think I even felt this way when I was with your mum, though I hate to admit that. It makes me sound shallow."

Ruth leans against Harry and revels in the happiness she's feeling. Harry puts his arm around Ruth's shoulders. Graham finally speaks up, "Dad, I think we both know that you and mum weren't meant to be. You look so happy and I don't remember that being particularly true when I was a kid."

"It wasn't true then. Did Catherine tell you I'm retiring?" Harry asks as he passes Ruth her pudding and spoon.

"Yeah, she did. I'm proud of you. You seem to have grown up and gotten more serious about actually living a normal life." Graham tells his dad.

"I figure it's about time I lived for me. I've been serving my country since I was 22. Ruth and I both deserve more." Harry says honestly.

"It sounds like this is pretty serious, dad, but you may want to talk to Ruth about that. She seems a bit shocked." Catherine teases her dad.

"A little bit shocked might be downplaying it a little. You're not usually this open and emotional, Harry. What did I say to you yesterday that has changed your feelings?" Ruth asks gently.

"Nothing has changed my feelings, but yesterday holding you in my arms as you were bleeding, I realized that if you came out of this alright I was going to be completely honest with you. I can't be shut off from you emotionally anymore." Harry kisses Ruth's temple.

"Gosh, that's so sweet of you, Harry. I hope you keep this up. I suspect that Ruth would appreciate hearing things like that from you a little more often." Malcolm teases Harry.

"God Malcolm, you do know how to make a man feel like an emotionally unavailable clod. I'm not that bad. Covering my emotions just comes with the job." Harry defends himself.

"Harry," Ruth whispers. "You don't need to defend yourself. Everyone in this room understands what this job costs you."


	12. Give Me the Keys

"Sweetheart, you sound tired. I'm going to take your keys and come back with some pyjamas for you. I'm going to go home and have a shower and try to feel human again. Malcolm, will you stay with her? I'd like to talk to Catherine and Graham just the three of us." Harry asks Malcolm.

"Of course I'll stay. Don't worry, I'll make sure Ruth is okay. We'll be fine. Go and talk to your kids and relax a little. Try and get some sleep while you're back at your house. Catherine, please make sure your dad looks after himself when he goes home." Malcolm says firmly.

"No problem Malcolm. I'll make sure that he gets home okay. Dad, I don't think you should drive home either. Give me your keys and I'll drive your car back to your place and I'll drive you back here when you want to come back." Catherine says firmly.

"You want the keys to my Range Rover?" Harry questions his daughter. Catherine glares at her dad until he hands over his car keys.

"I never thought I'd see the day." Ruth murmurs sleepily.

"That's an expensive car. I don't want it to get wrecked." Harry grumbles as he picks up his overcoat.

"Then it's better for me to drive your car, dad. Come one, kiss Ruth and we'll get you home. You look exhausted. I don't need you getting sick on top of everything else." Catherine says gently.

Harry walks over to Ruth and kisses her softly. "I'll be back soon. You get some sleep and try and relax."

Ruth puts her arms around Harry's waist as he kisses her. "Harry, are you carrying a weapon. If you are you shouldn't be carrying a weapon in a hospital. Leave it in the safe at home when you go home please."

"Alright, I'll leave it at home. I only had it with me because I haven't been home since the incident. I carried it for protection for me and you." Harry says honestly.

"I know. You hate carrying a gun. I'm just surprised you slept with that in your waistband." Ruth teases Harry.

"Alright, it wasn't easy, but I wasn't about to leave you alone. Now sleep and I'll see you later." Come on you two." Harry walks out of the room with his kids.


	13. Interrogation on the Ride Home

"Dad, you really love Ruth, don't you? I can tell by the way you look at her. What's your plan with her?" Catherine asks as they walk to her dad's car.

"I adore Ruth. I have for a long time. I would do absolutely anything for her. She doesn't know this but I made sure her offer on the house in Suffolk, she wanted, was accepted. I want to move into that house with her and let our relationship develop. I'd like to marry her one day. I'll have to remember to pack the engagement ring I bought her when I move in with her." Harry says wistfully.

"That's so sentimental of you, dad. I'm not used to hearing such things from you." Graham admits.

"We've been through a lot Ruth and I. We've been through more than our fair share of things people should never have to go through. I've nearly lost her more times than I would ever admit." Harry says heavily.

"Well, I wish you nothing but the best with her, dad. I think she's very good for you and I think that you deserve to be happy for once." Catherine says honestly. "God, what is this terrible music, dad?"

"It's classical. I listen to it to try and relax. Ruth suggested it. I don't even mind the opera." Harry admits.

"Opera dad really? That doesn't exactly fit the manly man persona. I expected you to be more rock n' roll than opera." Graham teases his dad.

"I like rock too, but as a spy I had to be able to move in different circles so I learned to appreciate many different forms of music. I am equally capable of enjoying rock and opera. And before you call me an old fogey I don't mind modern music either, but I'm more choosey about that." Harry tells his kids.

"Well, Graham may not be impressed, dad, but I am. It must have been helpful over the years to have such a wide repertoire of music likes." Catherine thinks carefully.

"Hey dad, how many languages, other than English, do you speak?" Graham asks curiously.

"I speak three languages well and parts of a fourth. I speak German, Russian and Irish Gaelic well and I speak French a little, at least the basics." Harry says honestly. "Gaelic and Russian are the hardest to speak well. Native speakers have different inflections from non-native speakers."

"Wow dad, that makes you sound really smart." Graham is amazed by what his dad says.

"I'm no dummy, Graham. I did graduate from Oxford and Sandhurst and I'll have you know I was one of very few, in a class of 300, at Sandhurst to graduate with honours, which is very difficult to do." Harry explains carefully.

"See dad, this is the kind of thing we want to know about you. You never told us this kind of stuff when we were kids." Catherine says softly.

"I know I wasn't very open with you when you were kids. I regret that now more than anything else. You should have been my priority and you weren't. Looking back on that time in my life I feel very guilty. I hope we can make up for lost time now that I'm retired."

"I do too, dad." Catherine says softly as she pulls into her dad's driveway. "Come on, let's get you in for a hot shower."

"Oh, a hot shower sounds so good. Give me my keys so I can get into the house and turn off the security system. You would set it off." Harry takes his keys from his daughter. He unlocks the front door, goes in, inputs his code, and puts his thumb on the print pad. "Come on in you two. Make yourselves at home. I'm going to go grab a shower. There's some food in the fridge and tea if you want."

"We'll be okay, dad. Give me your coat and go have a nice, long, hot shower." Catherine says sweetly. "We'll probably just watch some T.V."


	14. I Don't Know Anything About My Father

Harry slowly climbs the stairs to his bedroom and closes the door so he has some privacy. He quickly gets into a hot shower to loosen the knots in his back from sleeping on the couch.

Downstairs Catherine and Graham have wandered into their dad's sitting room. "Graham look. Dad's got a picture of us on the mantle from when we were kids." Catherine gently runs her fingers along the silver frame the picture is in. Catherine and Graham are surprised that their dad is being sentimental about his kids. "That's so sweet!"

"He is our dad, so it should be expected, but I must admit that I'm surprised he has such a personal item in his house, for anyone of the enemies he has, to find. I thought he'd hide his personal life away from the world." Graham hugs his sister to him.

"You're my children. You're never meant to be hidden away from the world no matter how dangerous my job is. I am proud of you. I want to show off that I was once a good father. That's my very favourite picture of the two of you when you were little. That day was perfect. I taught you to float that day, Catherine. You probably don't remember that." Harry says as he enters the room is his robe, a t-shirt, and a pair of pyjama pants.

"I do remember that actually. I felt so safe when you were holding me." Catherine steps towards her dad and hugs him. "You feeling more refreshed and relaxed now?"

"Yeah, my back is less sore now too after sleeping on that couch all night." Harry tentatively hugs his daughter.

"I'll go put some tea on so we can relax a little. I think we all need to relax." Catherine goes into the kitchen to put water on to boil for tea.

"Thanks Cath." Graham calls into the kitchen.

Harry sits next to his son. The situation feels a bit tense until Harry says, "How are you Graham?"

"I'm pretty good, dad. I just moved into a new flat that is a definite upgrade on the old one. I got a promotion at work, so I'm in charge of a whole team of landscapers now. I've got a girlfriend named Julia. Life's pretty good." Graham says happily.

"That's great Graham. I'm proud of you. You've done such a good job staying sober. Where did you meet Julia?" Harry asks. He wants to be interested in his kids' lives.

"I met her at work. I'm her boss now. We used to be on the same team." Graham tells his dad. He knows his dad is checking up on him.

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree then. Seems the Pearce men are destined to be bosses and to date someone who works for them." Harry teases Graham.

"I don't think you ever thought I was going to be the boss of anything except a prison gang. You were so worried about me." Graham says seriously.

"I was worried about you, but I also had faith that you would pull yourself together. I knew you well enough to know how determined you could be when you set your mind to something." Harry says honestly.

"You've never said that to me before. Thanks dad." Graham says looking at his dad a little differently.

"Here we go. By the way, dad, you have hardly any food in the house. I was lucky to find biscuits I think." Catherine says as she carries a tray into the room. "Why don't you have any milk, by the way?"

"Long story, but since you've signed the Official Secrets Act I can tell you a little bit. I got entangled in an operation with the CIA. In the process a CIA man was killed and the CIA thought I was to blame. They wanted to extradite me and the Home Secretary couldn't stop it, but he did call to warn me. I knew I had to surrender myself, but before I left the house I threw out the milk and anything else perishable." Harry explains.

"Well, that explains why you garbage smells so bad. Daddy, I'm so glad you're okay. How did you get free?" Catherine asks as she sits next to her dad and hugs him tightly.

Harry smiles when he thinks of the memory. "I was being transported to a base to be flown to the States after being interrogated and my team found out and two of them came and rescued me. I hope, by now, that they've cleared my name or else I should be expecting the CIA at any moment."

"Did you do it, dad?" Catherine asks softly.

"No, this time it wasn't me. I was framed by the Russians." Harry says heavily.

"Was Ruth involved in rescuing you, dad?" Graham asks. He's clearly been thinking since his dad said he was rescued.

"She certainly wasn't in the field, but certainly may have been involved on the grid. You know today is the first time I've kissed that woman when one of us hasn't been leaving the country." Harry sips his tea which is less hot than he thought it was.

"You've got to be kidding me, dad. You love her so much and yet you've only kissed her what, once or twice? What the heck?" Catherine is practically apoplectic when she hears her dad talk.

"Twice, I've kissed her twice before she got hurt. We're complicated, as you can well imagine, in this job. Ruth had to leave the country for three years when she was framed for murder. We staged her death. She went and lived in Cyprus under an alias. That was the hardest time in my life before now. I felt like something was missing." Harry pops a whole biscuit into his mouth.

Catherine is crying in her dad's arms. "I had no idea about any of this daddy."

Harry kisses the top of her head. "It's okay Catherine. It's all over now. That part of my life is done and Ruth is okay. Listen, this is all very maudlin. I'm going to go get dressed and then we can go back to the hospital."

"You're not going to nap, dad?" Catherine asks being the doting daughter.

"I can go four days before feeling any effects of lack of sleep. I'm fine. You can stop babying me now." Harry teases his daughter.

"Alright, dad, I just want to make sure you're okay. I don't want you to get ill in the midst of everything else." Catherine admits.

"That's sweet of you, baby, but I'm really okay. I'll be right back." Harry says gently.


	15. Looking After Dad

As Harry climbs the stairs he hears Catherine say, "Did you know dad had such a hard life? I almost feel as if we've been too hard on him now."

"I know. I didn't know any of that before. I can't believe how much he had to give up for his country." Graham says sympathetically.

"I wonder if he felt like giving us up when he and mum divorced was the only way to protect us. I mean we don't even have his last name. He must have been concerned about something. I can't imagine the fear he's lived with all these years." Catherine says emotionally.

"I was always concerned about the two of you. When you mum was pregnant with Catherine we decided that any children we had would have her name to try and protect you. I didn't think it would matter all that much. Your mother didn't take my name when she found out what my job really was." Harry says honestly. He hugs Catherine and Graham and then says, "Come on, let's go and see Ruth."

Catherine leans her head on her dad's chest before she walks into the hallway and picks up the car keys. "Come on then you two. You look nice in your casual clothes, by the way, dad. You did put your gun away in the safe, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did put my gun away in the safe. I didn't want to spend another day in an uncomfortable chair and uncomfortable clothes." Harry says as he again climbs into the passenger seat of his Range Rover. "We need to drop by Ruth's."

"I'm just checking dad. I know you're a bit distracted right now. I just want to make sure you're okay." Catherine puts her hand gently on her dad's arm.

"Two hands on the steering wheel please, love. I want my car in one piece." Harry teases.

"Dad, I am perfectly capable of driving with one hand on the wheel. We're not going that fast." Catherine teases back.

"Would you two stop? It's like listening to mum when she was trying to teach Catherine to drive." Graham teases his sister.

"God, I can't imagine what that must have been like. You must have been at each other all the time." Harry chuckles deep in his chest.

"She was terrible, thought I'm not sure that you would have been any better. You probably would have made me more nervous." Catherine tells her dad.

Catherine parks next to Ruth's flat and her dad says, "I'll just go in. I'll be right back."

Catherine opens the car door and shouts, "Bring her toothbrush too dad!"

Harry takes a deep breath before her enters the flat. He always thought he'd be doing this when Ruth was with him. He goes into the flat and it immediately feels like Ruth's flat. He quickly finds Ruth's bedroom, but is hesitant to enter. He feels as if it's an invasion of privacy. He also knows Ruth will be more comfortable in her own clothes. He goes into the room and opens Ruth's closet. He quickly finds her robe and a pair of fuzzy, soft pyjamas. He noticed the hospital is quite chilly. He also locates her slippers. He realizes he's going to have to check all her drawers from fresh socks and underwear. He feels his face flush as he thinks of that. He opens the top drawers in Ruth's dresser assuming that her socks and underwear must be there. He's right. He packs a few pairs of underwear and some cosy socks. He also packs an outfit for Ruth to come home in. When goes into the bathroom he wishes he was actually supposed to be here. Harry packs her toothbrush, toothpaste, and hairbrush. As he picks up the hairbrush he imagines sitting behind Ruth on his bed, at home in London, softly brushing her long, dark hair. He has to shake himself back to reality. He walks back out to the car with a dreamy look on his face.

"Dad, what happened in there? You look like you're on cloud nine." Catherine teases her dad.

"I think he was daydreaming in there. I know that look well enough." Graham tells his sister.

"So I was daydreaming. That's all that's been happening with Ruth for 7 years." Harry grumbles.

"Dad! Please tell me you've at least gone on a date with Ruth!" Catherine is appalled at her dad.

"We went on one date, but when we went back to work people knew and she was so uncomfortable. I asked her out on a second date." Harry recalls sadly.


	16. Questions and Stories

Catherine pulls into the hospital car pack. The trio hop out of the car and walk towards the hospital entrance. Harry checks at the front desk to make sure Ruth is still in the same room.

"Dad, how long have you known Malcolm?" Graham asks in the elevator.

"I've known Malcolm as long as I've been in the Service, about 25 years, I suppose. He's the best friend I've got even though I wasn't supposed to keep in touch with him after he retired from the Service." Harry tells Graham.

"I remember him coming to the house to visit us when I was a kid. I was 4½ or 5. You and mum weren't getting along, in fact, she'd left and you'd taken time off to look after us. Malcolm was great with us. He always said he wasn't very good with kids, but I had fun with him. I loved having that time with you as a little girl. You and I got along very well then." Catherine says to her dad.

"I remember that. I was off work for almost two weeks. You, Graham, and I had a great time. I remember painting with you and making forts with chairs and blankets. We read and watched movies. We baked which was sometimes disastrous. I just wanted to keep you busy so you wouldn't ask about your mum. I didn't know what to tell you about her. She was pretty upset when she came home and discovered you hadn't missed her." Harry smiles at the memory. "We did have some good times together, didn't we?

"Yeah we did, dad. I used to like spending time with you. You were awesome with us. We had fun. We didn't need mum to have fun. In fact, we had more fun with you when mum wasn't around to pester us. She hated that we had more fun with you than her." Catherine leans her head on her dad's shoulder.


	17. Ignoring Instructions

Harry is happy that he is getting along so well with his children again. He steps out of the elevator on Ruth's floor. His children quickly follow him. "Malcolm, how long has she been asleep?" Harry asks quietly.

"She's been asleep almost from the moment you left. The doctor came in to check on her and said she's doing very well considering her injury." Malcolm says quietly. Neither he nor Harry wants to wake Ruth.

"Good. She looks so peaceful. I never thought I'd get to see her this way." Harry is tempted to touch her face, but he'd feel terrible if he woke her.

"You're so sentimental, Harry. You and Ruth are meant to be together. I know your emotions are running him right now." Malcolm says teasing his oldest friend.

"Everything feels out of sorts right now. Sometimes I still feel as if I'm in a dream and I'm afraid to wake up in case Ruth is not alright in the world. My emotions are all over the map right now. I don't know that Graham and Catherin quite know what to do with me." Harry tells Malcolm.

"I don't know what to do with you either. I thought I told you to go home and have a nap." Ruth says sleepily.

"You didn't really think I was going to listen to that? I never napped, even when I was small. I'm not about to start now. I had to make sure you were okay. I wouldn't have slept well unless I know you were sleeping soundly." Harry walks over to the edge of the bed and brushes Ruth's bangs back from her forehead.

"No, I didn't think you would listen, but I was hoping that I held more sway over you than that. I don't want to see you get sick because you're so concerned about me. Can't you just listen to other people for once, people who are concerned about you?" Ruth says gently.

"You do hold sway over me, Ruth, but not even you can make me nap. That's just not who I am. Although retirement didn't seem to be in my future either until you were in my life." Harry says honestly.

"I know you have to feel as if you know what's going on in your world before you can relax, but you're retired and I'm in the best hands possible. It's not going to help me if you get ill while you're looking after me." Ruth pulls Harry down to sit next to her.

"Did the doctor tell you when you can get out of here?" Catherine asks Ruth.

"As soon as I can walks up a flight of stairs on my own without being out of breath I can go home. I'm not even sure where that is right now. My flat has gone to another MI-5 agent and I haven't heard any news about the house in Suffolk." Ruth says heavily.

"Well, I have good news about the house in Suffolk. You got the house, Ruth! You got your dream house! You can live the life you want now!" Harry says happily to Ruth. When he looks down at Ruth she's crying. "What's wrong?"

"Does that life I want include you? I asked you to give up the Service and come with me to Suffolk. Are you coming with me?" Ruth asks tearfully.

"Of course I am. The Home Secretary wants me to find a replacement. I think I've got someone in mind for the job from within the section. I hate to promote someone into this job who has never been in Section D before. You can come and live in my house until we can move to Suffolk. I want you to be in my life. I'm not willing to give you up for anything in the world. Nothing in my life is worth losing you over. I was thinking about keeping my house in London though so we don't have to stay in a hotel when we come back for events." Harry explains to Ruth.

"You've got it all worked out then. I'm so glad that you're willing to have a normal life. I never thought I'd see the day that you'd be willing to leave everything behind for me. That's a huge step for you." Ruth strokes Harry's cheek.

"I can honestly say that this may be the first time in my entire life when I've got everything all worked out. I have you to thank for that, Ruth." Harry says tenderly.

"You have to give yourself some credit, Harry. You figured everything out while I was laying here injured. You took the initiative to give the Home Secretary your resignation. That wasn't my idea. That was all you." Ruth gives a boost to Harry's ego.

"You're too sweet, Ruth. You don't take enough credit for yourself. I brought you some of your things. Some clean pyjamas, your robe, and your slippers for your time here." Harry strokes Ruth's hair gently.

Ruth groans quietly. She can just imagine what Harry saw in her flat. "Oh God, please tell me you didn't go through my delicate drawer. There are things you weren't meant to see in there, at least not yet." Ruth blushes bright red.

"I had to get some essentials, but I promise I didn't go through everything." Harry promises Ruth.

Ruth sinks her head onto her knees and bursts into tears. "This isn't the way this was supposed to go! Everything was supposed to be so perfect!"

Harry rubs circles on Ruth's back. "We were never meant to have the perfect moment, Ruth. This may be as perfect as we were ever going to get. I never thought we'd get as close as this to a perfect moment. I didn't think we'd ever get this close. The fact that we've finally both taken a chance, at the same time, is perfect enough for me. I don't mind that I had to go into your flat without you. I wish you'd been with me, but I got to do something nice for you without having ulterior motives or feeling guilty or selfish. None of that matters. What matters is that we got another chance to be together."

Ruth turns her face into Harry's chest. "You're right, I know you are. It's just embarrassing."

Harry lowers his head to Ruth's. "Sweetheart, you don't need to be embarrassed. It's sweet that you are, but there's no need to be. I love you. That's all that matters between us." Tears are still running down Ruth's face. Harry reaches up to reach into his inside pocket until he realizes he doesn't have an inside pocket with a handkerchief. "Damn it. Malcolm, do you have a handkerchief?"

"I don't carry hankies anymore, Harry, but there are some tissues just to your left." Malcolm says as he tries not to cry at Harry and Ruth's behaviour.

Harry pulls a couple of tissues out of the box and gently wipes away Ruth's tears. "It's alright, sweetheart. It doesn't matter anymore. Just relax." Harry says gently.


	18. Dressed in Her Own Clothes

Harry groans when his mobile phone rings. "Pearce." Harry says harshly. "Hi Erin. You want to bring the team to visit Ruth? Let me just check with her." Harry looks down at Ruth and she nods. "Ruth said yes, so you, Calum, and Dimitri are coming? Great, see you soon. Bye Erin."

"So, the team's all coming to visit?" Malcolm asks Harry.

"Yeah, they should be here soon. You know anyone else could have gotten injured and the team wouldn't show up en masse, but because it's Ruth the team all wants to make sure she's going to be okay." Harry says with a smile.

"Dad, I think Graham and I are going to make ourselves scarce while the team is here. We don't want to make the team feel uncomfortable." Catherine says looking at her brother.

"Catherine, you and Graham don't have to go anywhere. I'm done keeping the two parts of my life separate. You are allowed to stay and meet the team. Please Cath, stay and meet my colleagues." Harry says firmly.

"Alright, only if you promise me that they're not going to recruit me." Catherine walks over and hugs her dad.

"I can promise you that you won't be recruited by my team into MI-5. I won't let that happen. You have your own life to live." Harry promises his daughter.

"Thanks dad," Catherine kisses the top of her dad's head. "Why don't I help Ruth put her own pyjamas on? You three go get a coffee."

"You don't have to do that, Catherine. I can help Ruth." Harry says gently.

"Dad, she was embarrassed that you went through her delicates. She wants the moment you first see her without clothes to be special. This isn't that moment. Go get a cup of coffee." Catherine says firmly.

"Alright, point taken. When did you get so smart? That was really good advice. I needed that." Harry hugs his daughter before he and Graham and Malcolm leave the room.

As the men leave Ruth breathes a deep sigh of relief she didn't realize she was holding. "Thanks for that Catherine. Your advice was spot on. I don't want him to see my injury the way I am right now."

"I know Ruth. I just want you to be comfortable. Let's get you in your own pyjamas." Catherine opens Ruth's overnight bag and finds the pyjamas her dad packed. She shakes the pants out and says, "Come on, be careful though. Don't overexert yourself."

Ruth stands up carefully and Catherine kneels down to get her pyjama pants on. Catherine pulls the pants up and wants Ruth to tell her where the pants need to sit. "That's good there Catherine. The band shouldn't sit across the dressing.

Catherine stands up and says to Ruth, "Pull up your hospital gown and sit down on the edge of the bed." Catherine sits down behind Ruth and unties Ruth's hospital gown. She puts Ruth's short-sleeved pyjama top around her shoulders. Ruth puts her arms into the sleeves and buttons the front of the top. "You feel better now?"

Ruth smiles and nods. "Yes, much comfier. Thank you, Catherine. The boys can come back in now."

"Alright, I'll go get them. You rest." Catherine says with a smile. She walks out into the hall to look for her father, brother, and Malcolm. "You lot can come back in now. She's all comfy."

Harry is the first one back in the room. "That looks more like you. That's much better."

"You look much comfier than yesterday, Harry. It's so rare to see you in casual clothes." Ruth says with a smile.

"You never see me in casual clothes because I'm always at work." Harry teases Ruth.


	19. Team Visit and Teasing

There's a knock at the door. "I'll go. Come on in, you lot." Harry lets his team into the room.

Erin, Dimitri, and Calum all come into the room carrying gifts for Ruth. "You look pretty good, Ruth. It must be nice to be in your own pj's though." Erin comes over and hugs Ruth. She gives Ruth a teddy bear. "That's from Rosie and I. Rosie thought you'd be missing your cat. Rosie wanted to come with me, but she had to be in school."

"I think Ruth's missing holding something a bit more substantial than her cat." Dimtri says cheekily. He puts his flowers in a vase next to Ruth and kisses her cheek. He notices Ruth blush significantly.

Harry cuffs the back of Dimitri's head. "First of all, thank you very much for calling me substantial, Mr. Levendis." Harry says sarcastically. "Secondly, my children are here, so let's keep this clean."

"Sorry Harry." Dimitri says seriously.

"You better be. These are my children: Catherine and Graham and before anyone gets any bright ideas you are not recruiting my children." Harry puts his arms around his children.

"Wow, your kids really look like you, Harry. Hi, I'm Erin. Our resident court jester is Dimtri and the quiet one hiding away in the corner is Calum." Erin tries to be polite to Harry's kids who are obviously feeling very out of place.

"It's good to see you, Calum." Ruth says quietly drawing Calum out of the corner over towards the bed.

"It's good to see you too, Ruth. I'm sorry about the circumstances though." Calum says sweetly. He sets a book on the table next to the bed. His eyes are wet with tears. "I picked up something for you to read while you're here."

"Hey, it's okay. I survived thanks to all of you. You saved me and I can only say thank you. I know I can never repay you." Ruth says kindly.

"That is patently untrue. You bring cookies to the grid. You have more intelligence and better intelligence than anyone. You've repaid us all ten times over. You're the first one on the Grid in the morning and the last one to leave at night. You care for all of us a great deal and you are a very sweet person. You're a better person than most of us, Ruth. You keep Harry stable and we all appreciate that very much. He's been a grouch since you went to work for the Home Secretary." Dimitri says sweetly.

"Well, you won't have to put up with my grouchiness anymore, Mr. Levendis. I gave the Home Secretary my resignation letter when he came to see Ruth. Erin, I'm recommending you to become Section Head. I'd recommend Ruth, but she's been decommissioned. You're the best person for the job, Erin, and it'll be safer for you." Harry says honestly.

"Wow Harry, that's a huge compliment. Thank you, Harry." Erin, in a display of emotion, runs over and hugs Harry.

Harry stiffens in Erin's arms for a moment. "You're welcome, Erin, but it's all you. You're a very good spook. You're going to need some more agents, but I can give you some names of people I think will fill out the roster well, if you take the job that is. You're young for the position, but you're more than capable of filling it. Don't let the Home Secretary or the DG push you around just because you're a women."

"You're not to worry about that. I won't let anyone push me around. I'm strong and you don't need to worry. We'll keep in touch no matter what. You will always be a part of the team, Harry." Erin says sweetly. "I'll take the job. We have to keep the Home Secretary on his toes."

"He'll be happy to have you, Erin. Just be aware that he can get a little forward at times with women." Harry reminds Erin.

"Men in power tend to have that flaw. I am prepared for that. Am I allowed to change your office or is that considered sacrilegious now?" Erin asks cheekily.

"It's your office now. You do what you want with it, but I would appreciate getting my bottle of scotch from that office back. It was a Christmas gift from someone who has very good taste in scotch." Harry tells Erin.

"So, I can paint my office purple if I want? That's interesting." Erin teases.

Harry's face blanches when he hears the word purple. He can just imagine a vivid purple in that office and he doesn't like it. "Hey Erin, try not to kill him before he gets to enjoy his retirement." Ruth says with a smile.

"I'm kidding, Harry. If I paint the office at all it'll probably be blue or green. Not to worry." Erin says gently.

"That's good to know. I'll make sure you have all our contact information before I'm completely decommissioned, that way you can find us in Suffolk. I'll leave you all my blackmail material for the people you'll be dealing with. It may come in handy." Harry says deviously.

"You'd better make sure Ruth wants you to move into her new house with her, Harry. She may not want you interrupting her country oasis." Dimtri teases Harry.

"Dimtri!" Ruth says firmly.

"Yeah Ruth?" Dimtri says turning to look at Ruth.

"Shut up. Don't talk about things you know nothing about. I've finally got Harry right where I want him." Ruth says with a smirk.

"Oh, Ruth! You are devious! Maybe this is exactly the kick Harry needed! I love it!" Erin says with a smile.

"Actually, it was exactly the kick I needed. Harry was always ready and I was always pulling away. I'm not pulling away anymore." Ruth says quietly.

Harry is stunned by Ruth's words. He walks slowly over to the side of Ruth's bed. He holds her hand and kisses her cheek. "That is so sweet, Ruth, but you are not going to take all the blame for this. I didn't know when to give you the space you needed. I pushed too hard and too often. I pushed you away instead of pulling you closer. It was selfish and I'm sorry." When Harry looks up Catherine is crying. "Oh sweetheart, it's alright. Come here."

"That's one for the record books. I never thought I'd hear Harry apologize." Dimtri says quietly.

"I'm not pushing you too hard now, am I?" Ruth asks gently.

"No, you're not. Thank you for asking though." Harry says as he brushes Ruth's bangs back from her forehead.

"God dad, it's like a totally different person. If I wasn't sitting here watching your lips move I wouldn't believe it was you even talking." Graham says seriously.

"Thanks for the support Graham. I realized a long time ago that I needed to change, but now I have. I don't need to be in London anymore. I think having a house in Suffolk will be great. It won't be as much pressure and we'll have room to have the grandkids over to play, when you two decide to settle down."

Catherine has the good sense to blush. "I may actually be close to doing that, dad. Remember I told you I was dating James? Well, he asked me to go on vacation with him. I think it's pretty serious."

"Good for you, sweetheart. I'm proud of you. Tell me about your vacation." Harry can feel his heart begin to race and panic a little. He knows he can't get upset with her, but he still worries about her.

"We're going to go to the south of France for 10 days. I'll make sure you have all the contact details before we leave. At least you won't be able to keep such a close eye on me since you'll be retired by then. We're not leaving for about 5 weeks. That will give you enough time to worry and see what information you can get on my boyfriend." Catherine teases her dad.

"I've already got all that info. I'll have worry until you come home." Harry says honestly.

"Geez Harry you don't waste any time, do you?" Dimitri asks.

"You'll understand when you're a parent, Mr. Levendis. I'm sure Ms. Watts would agree that she would want to know as much as possible about the person her daughter wants to date. That feeling never ends no matter how old the kids are." Harry tells Dimitri.

"Listen Harry, I think the three of us are going to take off. We're glad you're okay, Ruth. We'll all come and visit again. I promise. Take care of her, Harry. She deserves a little TLC." Erin says gently. She hugs Ruth and waits for the boys. Dimitri and Calum both carefully hug Ruth before they leave.


	20. I Don't Know the Team Anymore

"You were quiet, Malcolm, during that visit." Ruth says to her friend.

"I didn't work with any of them, Ruth. It's a brand new team." Malcolm says sadly.

"I realized that when they all walked into the room. The turnover has been crazy." Harry understands why Malcolm is so wistful.

"You seem short a couple of team members, Harry." Malcolm observes.

"Well, I hadn't replaced Ruth yet, since she'd only been working for the Home Secretary for a short time and we're short a technical analyst and we're short a field agent since Erin said she'd be Section Head. She has some work ahead of her for sure." Harry tells Malcolm.

"I don't think I've ever heard of so many people needed in Section D at one time." Malcolm says seriously.

"We haven't needed so many new people since Section D was started." Harry enjoys talking to Malcolm. He and Malcolm get along so well. "At least I won't have to deal with another hiring process. It's a relief, really."

"Are you relieved to be out of the job, Harry? It must feel a bit peculiar after all these years though. You've been a spy for so long." Malcolm asks carefully.

"Yes, I am relieved. I can't believe how calm I feel now that I know I don't have to go back to Thames House. I haven't felt so relaxed since before I went into the army." Harry admits quietly.

"You have seemed much more relaxed since the Home Secretary came to visit me. I could almost see the stress melt away." Ruth teases.

The moment is broken by Catherine's mobile phone ringing. She rummages in her purse to find her phone. "It's a text from mum. Heads up, dad, mum's on her way up."

"Great, stress levels on the rise then. I'd rather deal with the Russians than Jane right now." Harry groans. His ex-wife and he have had some blazing rows over the years.


	21. The Dreaded Visit

The room goes deathly quiet when there's a knock on the door and Harry can feel Ruth's hands get clammy. He's squeezing Ruth's hand very hard.

"I'll go. You stay right where you are, dad. Ruth's going to need your support." Catherine says firmly.

Harry runs his hand over his face. "Alright, let her in."

Catherine opens the door and Jane breezes in. "You kept me waiting long enough. Isn't this just a cosy scene? Hello Harry."

"Jane. I am curious as to why you're here since I'm not the one who's injured and you're not my next of kin anymore." Harry shifts his position since his knee is starting to hurt.

"I wanted to be sure that my children were being honest. You have been known to be severely injured without telling anyone." Jane says seriously.

"She's right, Harry. You have lied about being injured and few times over the years." Ruth says cheekily.

"Oh God, don't you start agreeing with her. That's the last thing on earth I need." Harry teases Ruth and kisses her forehead.

"Harry, please, don't kiss your whore in front of your children. That's not appropriate." Jane says venomously.

"My whore! How dare you! You're not married to me anymore! You have no right to judge! Ruth is much more to me than any woman since you! I love her!" Harry says viciously.

"He really does, mum. I've seen them together and I've heard him talk about her and to her. It's like a totally different person." Graham says to his mother.

"Harry come here. Take a breath and relax." Ruth pulls Harry back towards her. He sits back down on the side of the bed and Ruth rubs his back.

"She won't speak about you that way. You know that isn't how I feel about you, don't you?" Harry whispers sadly.

"Of course I do. I know you, Harry. It's alright. No one is going to tear us apart again." Ruth hugs Harry from behind resting her head on Harry's back.

"Jane, please, if you're going to stay let's drop the animosity. I can't deal with it right now. The last month has been bad enough without you adding to it." Harry says tiredly.

"Alright, Harry, let's stop being so petty. I heard from the kids that you're retiring. I think that's really good for you. Do you have any plans for your time off?" Jane asks Harry.

"Well, I'm moving out of London for starters. When I'm settled I'd like to take my grand European tour. It will take some time for me to relax." Harry tells Jane.

"I hope you're including me in your grand European tour." Ruth whispers to Harry.

"Of course you're included. You speak all the languages." Harry teases Ruth.

"Great, so I'm going to go with you to be an interpreter. So much for it being a great, romantic trip." Ruth teases Harry.

"Graham's right. You have changed, Harry. It's nice to see. Graham said you've been talking really openly with the kids. That's really good. Are you going to introduce me to your significant other?" Jane says politely.

"Jane, this is Ruth. Ruth, you already know my ex-wife." Harry says reluctantly.

"Wait, that name sounds familiar. Why do I feel like one of the kids told me about Ruth?" Jane pauses.

"I did, mum. Dad told me about Ruth a long time ago. He's been in love with her for a long time." Catherine says to her mother.

"Well, that's certainly different coming from you, Harry." Jane says plainly.

"It's nice to meet you, Jane." Ruth says politely. She doesn't want to get off on the wrong foot with Jane.

"It's nice to meet you too, Ruth. You're a brave woman to take him on." Jane says, clearly teasing her ex-husband.

"He's equally brave to take me on. I'm not easy to cope with." Ruth admits.

"That's not what she meant, Ruth." Harry says quietly.

"I know. I'm fluent in female double speak. He's not like that anymore." Ruth says firmly to Jane.

"He mustn't be. You're certainly not his usual type. He usually likes quite glamorous women." Jane says cruelly.

"That excludes you then." Harry says meanly.

"It excludes me too, Harry. I'm the first to admit I'm not glamorous. I don't know what you see in me, honestly." Ruth says honestly.

"I've grown up. I don't need glamour. You're beautiful, Ruth, but you're so much more. You're smart and you keep me grounded. This is the first time in my life I feel like I'm in a mature relationship. It took me bloody long enough. I've taken long enough to grow up." Harry says seriously. When he looks up Jane has tears in her eyes. "What's the matter with you?"

"I waited for so long to hear you say something like that. It's a little bittersweet to hear you say that to someone else." Jane says sadly.

"Oh Jane, we both know that we weren't meant to be. There's no shame in that. We were young and I was so immature. I hope that I've moved above that by now. We've grown up and moved on. There's nothing wrong with that." Harry walks over to Jane and gives her a tissue. "You know, this is the first time in a long time that we've been in the same room and not been trying to kill each other."

"I'm proud of you, daddy. You're not fighting with mum or Graham and you're being really honest with everyone. That's the most emotionally mature I've ever seen you." Catherine comes over and hugs her dad.

"Thank you, sweetheart. I've tried really hard. I realized that I have the fate of the country in my hands, or I did. That made me really think about my priorities. Every decision I ever made I thought about what Ruth would do and what I would do to protect you and Graham." Harry kisses Catherine's cheek.

"Harry, you sound so grown up. I can't believe it. You sound like a totally different person. I want to wish you good luck. You deserve to be happy. Enjoy your retirement, you deserve that too." Jane says honestly.

"Wow, that's the nicest thing you've said to me since we got divorced. No offense, are you sober?" Harry teases Jane.

"Yes, I'm sober. Can I not give you a compliment?" Jane asks.

"From experience, no you can't give me a compliment. I'm waiting for the stab in the back. I didn't usually get one without the other." Harry says honestly.

"Listen, I've got to get going, but keep in touch. I want a wedding invitation when the time is right." Jane hugs Harry casually.

"Yeah, cause that wouldn't be awkward at all. I will keep in touch, I promise. Are you happy, Jane?" Harry asks seriously.

"Yes, I am happy. I'm in a good place in my life again. I can see that you're in a good place too and that makes me feel good." Jane smiles at Harry. She picks up her purse and leaves the room.


	22. Food and Hobbies

Harry releases a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "That went much better than it could have. She was very civil."

"You were very good with her, daddy. I know it's not easy for you to deal with her. You stayed very calm." Catherine says to her dad. "Listen, I'm sure that we're all starving. I'm going to run down the street for Chinese food. Any special requests?"

"Nothing spicy for me, Catherine." Ruth requests from Harry's daughter.

"Alright, but I'm going to check with your nurse to make sure it's okay. I'm going to just get some sticky rice if that's alright and then we can just get some veg and meat and we can just share." Catherine suggests. "I know dad and Graham like rice. What about you and Malcolm, Ruth? Rice okay?"

"Rice is alright with me if I'm allowed to eat it." Ruth grumbles.

"Rice is fine with me too, Catherine. Thanks for doing this." Malcolm says sweetly.

"Here Cath, let me give you some money for lunch. You shouldn't have to pay." Harry reaches into his inside pocket for his wallet.

"Wow, thanks Dad. That's generous of you." Catherine is surprised.

"Are you saying I'm cheap?" Harry asks teasingly.

"Well, not in so many words, and certainly not the same way as when I was a kid." Catherine teases her dad right back.

Harry puts £40 into Catherine's hand and smacks her bum. "Get going, you cheeky devil!" He turns to look at Ruth who now has tears in her eyes. "What's going on with you?"

"It's so sweet to see how well you and she are getting along." Ruth sniffs.

"Oh sweetheart, it's alright. I have to say thank you to you. Because of you I made a concerted effort to get back in touch with my children. I realized when you left for Cyprus that I didn't want my children to find out from someone else that I wasn't coming back. I hadn't seen my children for years and it took me at least a year to get back in touch with them, especially Graham." Harry walks over to Ruth and holds her gently.

"You did all that because of me?" Ruth asks quietly.

"Most things I do in my life I do because of or for you. I always think about what you would do before I make a decision." Harry kisses Ruth softly.

"Dad, are you going to take up any hobbies now that you're retired?" Graham asks. He's curious about his dad's future.

"Well, I know that I'm going to be watching more cricket and football. I'm going to take it easy for a while before I make any major decisions." Harry doesn't need to think very hard about his answer.

"I think it's good for you to just take some time, dad. You've been going for so long. You just need to sit with the quiet for a while first." Graham likes being able to talk to his dad.

"I hate the quiet. It makes me nervous. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel as if someone is watching me." Harry grumbles.

"He's telling the truth. He always has the radio on at home all the time when I call. Even when he's asleep I'm sure he has a soundtrack going." Ruth says cheekily.

"Dad that's hilarious. You're such a tough guy and you can't deal with silence. What about the dark? How do you handle that?" Graham says seriously.

"I don't deal with the pitch dark well. I've been confined in small spaces in the pitch dark too often. I have too many fears in the dark. My mind races and I panic. The dark has too many bad connotations for me." Harry admits to Ruth, Malcolm, and Graham.

"That explains a lot, actually. If we ever stayed in the same room on an operation Harry always left a light on. There's a lot of things I don't know about him though." Malcolm says. He's always thinking.

"The only one who knows everything about Harry is Harry." Ruth says before he pours herself a cup of juice.


	23. Lunch at the Hospital

"Alright, I'm back! I brought us some green tea. Everybody dig in!" Catherine says as she puts lunch down.

Harry opens the bags and starts pulling the packages out of them. There's 4 large containers of sticky rice, two containers of chop suey, lemon chicken, chicken with cashews, honey garlic boneless pork, sweet and sour boneless pork, barbeque pork, and dried garlic boneless pork." Cath, there's enough food here for an army."

"Well, I thought you could take home the leftovers, dad. You don't cook when you do have the time." Catherine starts opening containers. "And despite what you think you are going to go home and sleep in your own bed. Being sleep deprived and sore is not going to make Ruth feel any better."

"You are very determined when you set your mind to something." Harry says as he serves up some Chinese food for Ruth and passes her the plate and a set of chopsticks.

"Yup, I wonder who I got that from. I know Ruth won't let you sleep one more night on that uncomfortable couch. She cares too much." Catherine teases her dad.

"That's very true. You can't keep staying here. You need to go home and get a decent night's sleep. Let someone look after you for a change." Ruth says firmly. She uses her chopsticks easily.

"When have I ever let anyone look after me? I don't want to leave you." Harry sits on the side of Ruth's bed with his Chinese food and strokes Ruth's hair.

"You've never let anyone take care of you. That's part of your personality. I know you're not going to change and I don't want you to change, but let Catherine make sure you're okay. I don't want you to leave either, but I need to know that you're looking after yourself, or at least that there's someone who can look after you." Ruth says carefully. "I know you won't cook for yourself, but I want to know you're okay."

Harry smiles at Ruth. "I'll be just fine. Thank you for caring though." The room goes quiet as the five people tuck into their lunch.

"Good choices, Cath. The food is really good. Dad's right, though, there's tons of food here. It's going to take him a week to finish everything!" Graham teases his sister.

"I'm surprised at how good it is considering that I've never been there before, I didn't realize how big the portions were going to be." Catherine says honestly.

"The portions are very generous. I have to admit that I'm enjoying this very much. I don't like that Ruth is in the hospital, but I like how much time I'm spending with my kids." Harry says as he rearranges his chopsticks against the edge of his plate.

"I'm so glad that I don't have to eat hospital food. This is really yummy. Thank you, Catherine." Ruth says happily.

"You're welcome, Ruth. I figure you'd heal faster and be happier if you didn't have to eat hospital slop." Catherine says kindly.

Ruth hears Harry grumble under his breath. "What's wrong Harry?"

"I hate trying to eat rice with chopsticks. It's so inelegant." Harry grumbles.

"And here I thought you were good at everything." Ruth teases Harry.

"There are forks in the bag if you want, dad. I know it's not easy." Catherine teases her dad. She only does it because he's easy to tease.

"Great, now I have two women who are going to tease me mercilessly." Harry continues to grumble as he stands up and finds a fork.

"We only tease because we love you, daddy. We wouldn't tease you if we didn't care." Catherine says gently.

"I know Catherine. I'm glad that we are now in a good enough place in our relationship that we can tease each other." Harry says sweetly. He's never been particularly talented using chopsticks and he certainly doesn't want to look foolish in front of Ruth and his kids.

"Harry you've been to Asian countries and you can't us chopsticks? How did you survive?" Malcolm teases.

"I used my fingers a lot. Good thing that's not frowned on in Asian cultures." Harry keeps a close eye on Ruth to make sure she's not fatigued. The atmosphere in the room is light and it's clear everyone is happy. No one is talking about Ruth's injury or anything negative.

"Harry, I'm going to go home after lunch and have a shower and change my clothes. I'm beginning to smell a little rank." Malcolm says as he sips his green tea.

"Trying to impress someone Malcolm?" Harry teases his friend.

"Not in particular. I just don't want to smell like a person with bad body odour anymore." Malcolm is surprised by Harry's question.

"I'll get you to drop off the Chinese food leftovers at my house on your way home." Harry tells Malcolm.

"That's not a problem Harry. Is there anything I can bring you back?" Malcolm asks setting his empty plate down.

"If you can grab my book that would be great. My book is on my bedside table. I'll make sure I shave when I go home." Harry requests.

"His face is all scratchy. It's nicer when his face is smooth." Ruth smirks cheekily.

"I did notice that he was looking a bit scruffy. We can't have that." Malcolm chuckles.

"I just want to have one thing that feels fairly normal. Everything is abnormal right now. A shave is a step on the way to normalcy, but I'll have to wait until I go home." Harry yawns.

"Oh, I'm so full. That was way too much food." Graham groans.

"You're getting no sympathy from any of us, Graham. You ate enough for two people. It's your own fault." Catherine smiles at her younger brother.

"Gee thanks. That's awfully unfeeling of you, Cath." Graham teases his big sister.

Harry starts to chuckle. "What is it dad?" Catherine asks her father.

"It's like watching the two of you when you were kids again. It's really nice to see and it brings back wonderful memories. You and Graham were so close as children." Harry says wistfully. "I think I'll head home and shave and shower and start feeling a little more human. We'll send Malcolm back here with something for you to read, Ruth."


End file.
